Saturday, May 9, 2009
I did not ask to be born!!
Recently I stopped by our house during the day while I was in our neighborhood with one of my employee’s that was riding with me. I mentioned to him that my snow blower would not start. I told him that I had put new gas in the tank that morning; I Had cleaned the spark plug and I pulled on the cord until my arms were tired but the engine just would not kick-in. When we finally got to the snow blower he just reached over and unscrewed the spark plug and hooked it up to the sparkplug wire and laid it on top of the engine. Then he pulled on the cord and you could clearly see a little spark jumping out of the tip of the plug onto the engine block. Then he poured a small cap of fresh gas into the spark plug hole and reinstalled the plug and wire, pulled on the cord and the engine sputtered out of control and the engine shook but then it began to run like a top.
He said that there was probably old gas in the engine and that it just needed a bit of fresh gas next to the plug to make it fire. That night when I came home from work the engine started up and I plowed the snow off the driveway without a glitch.
Well that was great but when it comes to raising children to become responsible adults the answer isn’t always that simple. Some adult children have set it in their minds that the responsibilities of becoming an adult is not worth pursuing because there is no future in it or there is no instant gratification to be achieved. Therefore as a result this philosophical style of rhetoric becomes prevalent, “Just go back and live with your parents they will have to handle your problems, they’re the ones who decided to have you so let them take care of you”; or, “I didn’t ask to be born into this world and besides it’s just life, you’ll have to deal with it, cause I’m not changing!”.
Such irresponsible thoughts! I personally did not ask to be born into this world! My Dad did not ask to be born into this world and certainly his Father did not ask to be born and so forth all the way back to the beginning of time and guess what, God himself refers to himself as “I AM” which shows to me that it was not an issue to be rebutted. So for those of you who are confused, life has been here for a long time such as eternity past and now it’s time for you to take a deep breath and stretch and say “I am”, which in and of itself requires responsibility on your behalf.
Our society is in deep trouble because of the evolving social issues which have become more complex. The Christian standards that we once depended on have been challenged from the President of this great nation right down to our own families. Our universities and their anti-God and liberal socialistic agendas have challenged and contaminated what is right and the issues of immorality are a thing of the past. The world news may be “gut wrenching” and the job markets may not appear to be too promising, however life must go on and the responsibilities must be pursued with dignity and self respect. Consider this verse: 1Cor.10 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Growing up inevitably requires more responsibility and it is clearly seen throughout creation in all the other humans, plants and animals that produce. We do not live in a cast system, such as it once was in India where domestic jobs were for the lower class. If you live with your parents and you find that the trash and laundry is overflowing, the grass needs mowed, the dishes are dirty, the bathroom sink is dirty, your clothes are scattered all over the house and your personal bedroom is trashed, or you constantly borrow the family car or money but never put gas in the car or pay back the money, you might consider that you have reached adult hood but aren’t being responsible. More than likely you are thinking as a self centered sponge or a dependent and a child.
Consider this verse, “1Cor.13  when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things”.
As a Christian you can see, this verse requires action not to act as a child into your adult years. If you don’t understand this, it’s the parent’s responsibility through tough love to direct your paths more firmly and to say “NO” to some of your whimsical and irresponsible actions. If you are going to continue to live in your parent’s home you are a guest and it is your responsibility to help them with the work and to respect your parents’ wishes and not to get upset at their standards and conclude that “they are being stingy and selfish”.
Unfortunately the only answer you may want to hear is a “YES” and then you label your parents as tyrants. This type of thinking is a sin and God himself will eventually deal with you as a believer.
Naturally we as parents get frustrated and sometimes tell others about our negative experiences that we are encountering as we raise our children into adulthood. We explain how we tried everything and have not had good results and how we have hopes for a solution much as I did with the issue of the snow blower that would not start.
Then as we think about it we realize that we have somehow been tricked into enabling our kids daily and the rational is because we love them and give them new supplies of money when they are broke, clothing, food, etc. like putting new gas in the engine when it’s empty. We pull on the cords of “giving” and “hope” and “picking up after our kids” until we are worn out, old and tired, but nothing seems to work. Then along comes a friend who has been through similar situations with their children and they listen to your dilemma and reach into their own experiences and share with you that the old thinking is just like the old gas that is locked in the engine has got to go.
So you put your trust in their opinion and you change your ways of enabling and you see a slight spark of confidence when you put your foot down and say I’ve had enough. You then see the changes that should have taken place a long time ago even though your adult child kicks and sputters and shakes and makes all sorts of negative comments. Soon the word is out that the “free lifestyle” is over and that you the adult child must be responsible for your actions and become an adult as God intended.
I’m sure that the snow blower if it could talk, did not ask to exist and would rather sit in the garage and do nothing all winter but the truth is, it is a snow blower and it has a designed purpose just like the children we raise to become adults.